My therapy journey began because I wanted to stop feeling. Most therapy begins because you want to change how you feel. At least feeling the things you didn’t want to feel. Just like I wanted emotional control in the form of only feeling what I wanted to feel and never feeling what I didn’t.
Arguably, we’d all love that superpower. To feel the good without ever experiencing the bad. But it doesn’t exist, and for good reason.
All feelings are valid. They have a purpose, even the painful ones. But most people have gotten good at avoiding or numbing feelings as a way to deal with them.
But it never deals with them. It just masks them.
Feelings are part of being human. You were created to feel, which means you should feel. The journey to healing is not by suppressing the feeling but by learning how to feel without being controlled by the feeling.
When I went to therapy, I didn’t know how much control I had over how I felt or at least the ability to change it. I spent so much time trying to run from feelings and create a life where I wouldn’t have to feel the things I didn’t want to that I missed the beauty of healing emotions and using those feelings to create a better life.
I realized the superpower we’re looking for is not diminishing our feelings but creating better ones. It’s being able to feel everything while using what you feel to shift your actions because you know how to heal them.
Emotional regulation is the superpower. That happens through healing your nervous system.
I brought Mandy L. Harvey on the podcast to talk about emotional regulation, healing from trauma, and how to feel without getting hurt by what you feel but using it to thrive.
Learn more: https://thelivingwell.com/315